Lake Love
by JenkinsDLP
Summary: Draco wannts to confess his love for Harry but Harry's reaction is...unexpected. Written for DLP and the lulz, thus it is not a serious fic. H/D parody. Oneshot.


Draco Malfoy lay flat on his back, the soft sheets around him warm and comforting, exactly opposite of the thoughts that were running through his head

Draco Malfoy lay flat on his back, the soft sheets around him warm and comforting, exactly opposite of the thoughts that were running through his head. 'Stupid Potter' he thought, glaring at the ceiling as if it were the plaster's he was so unhappy. 'Doesn't even listen to me at all, he's such a git'.

For the last few weeks he had been unable to get rid of the thoughts surrounding the green-eyed hero. Harry had recently defeated the Dark Lord Voldemort at the very gates of Hogwarts itself, ending the war abruptly, despite the fact he was only 16. Draco had watched in amazement as the boy of his dreams had single-handedly defeated the Dark Lord, the amazing sight had since been embedded in his mind.

Seeing him like that had given even more fuel to the roaring fire of emotion that consumed his chest every time he saw the Wizarding World's saviour. Draco had always loved him. He had just never been able to express it. But now that the War was over, perhaps he could finally confess. Unfortunately, said confession had rather... unexpected results.

FLASHBACK

_Draco ran down the corridors, a huge, happy grin on his face and his robes billowing out behind him. He had just left the dungeons after having a big discussion with Professor Snape about his feelings and his duty. Snape was almost like an uncle to him and had been Draco's 'shoulder' about the feelings he had but knew he shouldn't._

He had finally been convinced to do something about it though and he knew today was the day as he approached the front doors of Hogwarts, heading to the grounds where the object of his affections was no doubt walking.

He loved Harry Potter and he knew it, he had since the boy had first ignored his hand of friendship their first ever train ride to school. Something about the denial spurned some desire in Draco's twisted, 11 year-old mind. Being a homosexual in pure-blood society was almost as bad as being a squib. Draco didn't care though, so long as he could be with Harry, what did it matter?

As he neared the lake, he saw the ruffled black hair that was the boy he loved. "Harry!" he breathed, his eyes lighting up in joy. He ran even faster, not wanting to wait even one more second of the rest of his life. He caught up to Harry and skidded to a halt in front of him, bending over and panting, all dignity forgotten in the joy of the occasion.

"Malfoy?" Harry asked, an annoyed look coming across his face. "What the fuck do you want?" Draco blanched a little at that, but shook it off knowing that Harry would soon be all smiles and kisses.

"I need to tell you something Harry," he began, once he had gotten his breath back. "It's really important and I think you'd really like it…" He reached out a long pale hand to softly touch Harry's cheek.

Harry jumped back, slapping his hand away. "Woah, what the fuck? Watch your hands ferret!" he snarled, annoyance turning to anger and revulsion.

Draco simply smiled. "I love you Harry." He said, with supreme confidence. Harry froze, utter disgust slowly moving into his features. "What?" he said, blankly.

"I love you," repeated Draco with the biggest of grins. "I love you so very much. Now we can be together forever. It's meant to be." He was moving closer to Harry, skinny white arms reaching out.

Harry was staring at him in shock. Then, slowly his mouth began twitching at the corners, pulling upwards until he was outright grinning then he burst into loud raucous laughter. Draco was looking confused, not quite sure how to deal with this, Harry was now on all fours absolutely howling with laughter. People from around the grounds were gathering round, curious as to why the Boy-Who-Won was laughing so hard.

"Yes Harry, I love you!" Draco cried out, trying to get Harry to talk to him again. At this everybody else around him broke into hoots and guffaws at the Malfoy boy's proclamation. This ensured for another 5 minutes, with people eventually rolling on the ground in laughter, Harry included.

Harry stood up, wiping his eyes and still chuckling a little as he pulled out his wand. "You really are an idiot Malfoy." He said, beginning to wave his wand at the blonde teenager. There were a few loud bangs and flashes of light and Draco was seen hanging upside down. He was covered head to toe in fish guts, his chest had been swelled to form breast that would rival even Lavender Brown's, the hair on his head had been transformed to sickly smelling white liquid and his arms and legs had switched places, along with his nose and err…bits.

"But Harry," he began before Harry flicked his wand again and Draco was hurtled out to the middle of the lake, a steadily fainter cry of "I love yyyoouuuu…" heard before there was a large splash as he hit the water in the middle of the lake.

Draco broke surface, hi 'hair' dripping into his eyes as he looked around, absolutely heartbroken at what had just happened. Just as he began to consider getting out, something long and slimy wrapped around his legs and he looked down into the water. Staring back up at him was a large, fishy eye about the size of a basketball. The Giant Squid had arrived.

Draco's screams echoed across the grounds as the students of Hogwarts, still chuckling turned and went back to what they were doing earlier.

Draco sighed and looked at the bed next to him wistfully, his heart broken. Lying on the bloodstained sheets were what appeared to be a pair of arms attached to a pelvis. 'Stupid Potter.' thought Draco as the blackness finally engulfed him.


End file.
